Beyond Being Helped!

It’s suffering borne out of ignorance, of darkness. When your body and mind are not at ease you know why they’re not so most of the time. But when people around you suffer, you wonder why they are suffering. When you can feel their pain it’s no longer their pain–it’s yours. We don’t suffer only for our own pain but also for those around us. We might be insensitive to their suffering and then it’s not a suffering for us but if we are sensitive we feel the pain. Sometimes we feel the pain more than the people suffering do–because we are suffering for too many people at once–hearing too many cries simultaneously. When you see ignorance and resultant suffering you are compelled to help people out of their suffering but sometimes despite best of your intentions you can’t. Either they’re reluctant to accept help or they have grown so much in it that they’ve gone beyond being helped. But withdrawing yourself isn’t easy–simply accepting that it’s so and you can’t change it–you can’t alleviate their suffering, isn’t easy. Their suffering becomes your worst nightmare.



Bodhisattva is the name given in Buddhist texts to the beings who are inches away from enlightenment. They’re immensely compassionate and want to show others a way out of their suffering but what if they can’t? It remains their suffering. If you hear too many cries around you and can’t shut yourself down to them you are bound to suffer because of them. It’s your suffering because you’re hypersensitive. Either for good or  for bad you are carrying a heavy weight inside you which can’t let you be at ease. Some people live in so much darkness that they create suffering for themselves and for others –incessantly by their own actions. They have no insight into the mechanisms which create pain for themselves and others and these mechanisms keep repeating themselves for their entire lives. What do you do when you see too many people living in darkness around you? What do you do when all you could do in your power fails to rescue them out of their suffering? How do you desensitize yourself from their pain and how do you shut yourself down? This pain is what makes it impossible for you to sleep and stirrings eventually lead to awakening. Then suffering is but you walk on waters. You float on it.


28 thoughts on “Beyond Being Helped!

  1. Pingback: Have A Nice Read! #2 | ThoughtsOfaTrainwreckedPineapple

  2. I know this feel all too well. I am more hypersensitive than I’d like to be to others’ suffering. And I try very hard sometimes to rid them of it but to no avail. And it hurts. It becomes my suffering as you say. But I recognize this and I am content with this burden because I am eager to see it vanquished. Thank you for sharing Anand 🙂

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  3. Hello Anand, your post was well timed for me too! This is one of those times for me where I would like to detach but am not able to and that lack of insight means that help is not accepted and yes, I would like to escape, but “This too shall pass.”

    Liked by 2 people

  4. An article to ponder and experiencing some of this now. Friends with pain and won’t try to help themselves. It is an unfortunate situation, however, you want to keep trying. You can’t just walk away.

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  5. Pingback: Light vs. Dark – Whispers in the Wind

  6. ‘m learning that most people in pain need a touch rather than words. I’m not very good at “silence” however. I often want to share my “wisdom” in the form of words. Not good! People in pain may rebel at having their pain probed. They may want to deny it,especially if it reveals guilt in any way. Still caring for others, aren’t you? I miss you.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Wow, this was a perfectly timed post. Not even seconds before reading it I was feeling incredibly powerless because of my inability to alter situations that are bothering me. These aren’t situations that I’m directly involved in, but they’re hurting lots of people and I’m frustrated that even my best efforts to inspire change seem to be meaningless. It’s so hard for me to accept that I can’t “fix” them, and that most other people don’t seem to care. I know that the best thing for me to do would be to detach myself from these situations, as you wrote in your post. But as you also stated, this is very hard to do. I feel like I have to keep trying, because not many other people are.

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  8. I expect you are getting around to it? That’s why proper meditation helps, to still the mind. To float on the water, like a lotus flower. Roots deep in the soil below and face toward the light. The more meditation on the word of God. … vibration. Helps create that special aura around you that things bounce off of. Compassion is one thing. Taking on someone else’s karma … different.

    Cheers Jamie

    Liked by 4 people

  9. It took me a while to realize that you can’t help people who are not ready to accept that help. I do believe that if you are the help someone has manifested in their lives, helping will feel easy. If it doesn’t, trust that they will be provided with the help they need when they are ready. At least that helps me to let go of the pain of not being able to make another person feel better.

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    1. That’s a very wise response. Trusting that life is complete in all its ways. My concern was more about being hypersensitive to pain and suffering of others. When you stay in touch–their suffering and pain becomes your suffering and pain. Sometimes there is only as much you can do and detaching yourself from the scene or situation is the only thing possible but at other times you can’t do even that. Acceptance is difficult in those situations. Thanks for your response.

      Love and light ❤

      Liked by 3 people

  10. You cannot take responsibility for the actions of others, we all play our bit we all have our own divinity to express, you are enough, heal you first and be open. In a world of contrast there is an inherent gift in everything, trust the processs…that the pain will lead to expansion, it will transform. Sending love.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It isn’t about taking responsibility for action of others I am talking about but being vulnerable to their suffering and pain. Being sensitive to it means you feel their pain and sometimes you feel it more than they do because they don’t have insights which you have. Pain is indeed healing but sometimes it is unbearable and you want to escape.

      Love and light ❤

      Liked by 3 people

  11. I try to help people out as much as I can, but once it goes past a certain point, I let them be. However, it’s extremely difficult for me to let go. There are certainly situations we can’t control and some wounds that only time can heal. I’m learning to draw that line where my intervention will be of no further use. A great post! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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