Unless you’ve firm faith in the unity of everything you can’t give selflessly. You think you’re a person limited in space and time. This definition of yourself makes you act selfishly. You feel you are limited, isolated and this is a market where every-man-for-himself is the rule. You work hard to arrange possessions, entitlements and luxuries for yourself in hope of becoming happier but all you ever meet are illusory march posts on the way which tell you that happiness is just around the corner and you need to plod a bit more, strive a bit more. Your limited definition of self makes you work hard for limited self but it just increases your misery. Some of us think that the immediate family is part of our self and making it happy is what makes us happy. Family which is limited and related to us by blood takes precedence in everything. Now, you think, you are not selfish because you provide for family. But you provide for family and do favors only because you think they provide for you as well and they will be there for you when you need them. This is also limited self.
Working to make family happier is better than living just for yourself. It’s less selfish still it’s selfish. It’s limited. It makes world a place where families are competing with each other. Movies and TV keep showing how important it is to live and die for families. Neighborhood families are jealous of each other and competing incessantly without showing their true feelings when they meet and put up happy faces. Then there is a class of people who take great pride in being patriotic. If you are for your own people you are truly great they think. There is nothing wrong with living for your family, your nation or community–but it will not make you happy. You will remain limited and keep chasing happiness. The nation as well as religious and ethnic groups are man made. They are all limited in nature. The reality is one indivisible whole. The limitations are proven to be illusory and temporary upon observing. There is nothing but thought which separates you from a table, an animal or another human being. There are infinite labels we have used to separate ourselves from each other: hindu, muslim, white, black, beautiful, ugly, intelligent, fool, indian, japanese and so on. These labels are useful in a sense that they help build communities and allow progress inside them in some domains, but ultimately they are man made divisions and not absolute.
Absolute reality is one wave which has everything inside it. An ocean which is made of all drops and its nature is awareness and you’re this awareness! You are this reality which is also called god, self or absolute. Unless you have firm faith in this realization, you can’t serve selflessly because all you will ever do will be for limited self of yours. This is simple to understand but you can spend all your life denying it, arguing against it, bringing science, logic and whatnot to refute it and chasing unhappiness. You are one with everything else because reality can only be one core. You can only know your own existence with any certainty. You are. So you can’t become ‘not.’ That which is really here, which never changes, this awareness can’t become non awareness. So you are not a person limited in time and space but rather absolute reality.
Giving others helps you break out of this shell of selfishness and bigger your understanding of self is more easily you can break out of illusion of being limited. If you don’t discriminate between humans, nations, families, religions, ethnic groups, castes and creeds(except for practical affairs: like you can’t hug a lion and kiss a snake normally) your heart will get expanded. This expansion of heart is giving energy out of the bubble of ego into your true self. You are moving towards realization of absolute truth which you had so far understood only intellectually. Since whatever you give you give only to yourself you ever feel blissful and happy. When you hoard for yourself you are strengthening the false self ( personality) and that makes you miserable no matter how much you collect, but when you give to others without discrimination and holding back you are truly giving to yourself. Only then you are truly giving to yourself because there is only one reality. This makes you happy. Truly blissful.