After having recovered from Schizophrenia( Kundalini) medicines, as his brother and mother kept tirelessly supporting him, he has again found that fire of devotion burning brightly inside his heart, which was, always there, but was temporarily converted into some illusory visions and dreams when he was under the weather created by the treatment.
He tried to run-away yesterday, when he realized that soon after joining this government service he will be forced to marry someone. He so despised the rut of struggling for unnecessary reasons and bondage of marriage which in his brief life experience had caused more misery than bliss to people around him. His love for Krishna is intense and the urge to transcend the mundane world has made him accustomed to chanting holy names every waking minute of the day. He keeps chanting even in his dreams and sleep. He cries and prays after every few minutes to his beloved!
Today, he has been listening the divine word since 5 O’clock in the morning to gain courage required to run away. The plan is simple–there is a wallet which has 500 rupees and some identity cards and he is just supposed to go to the bus stand, from there, to Jhansi where he will find a railway junction which fetches many trains to Vrindavana where he will find solace by living anonymously as a devotee.
He prays again and again for courage. His mother who is concerned because of his incessant chanting since last few days, comes to his room, with open hairs, as she is preparing to depart for her day’s job. She asks him to stop chanting. He accepts and becomes silent for a while. As soon as she leaves, he starts chanting again.
After a while, his brother, asks him to drop him off for his day-job. He drives the bike slowly and cautiously as is usual routine and drops him off at the nearest bus stand. After coming back he just carefully sneaks out of home after parking the bike as his youngest brother was brushing his teeth. As he was walking out through the backstreet, his brother asks him ” Where are you going?” He says, “Just to this shop nearby!”
On his way to bus stand he meets a neighbor who asks him the same question and he gives the same response. He is afraid he might be caught before he can leave the city but at the same time his conviction is deep and the faith is indomitable. He soon reaches to the bus stand and boards on a bus. He is eagerly awaiting the departure of the bus. As soon as the bus departs, he feels extremely relieved and keeps chanting holy names of Krishna. After three and half hours the bus reaches to Jhansi, the city with the railway junction.
He takes a sharing auto from the bus stand to the railway station. On the way he stops to withdraw some money from an ATM machine. He is chanting continuously and feeling very relieved now. But ATM card doesn’t work! Why is that? He did receive an email a few months ago about the renewal of the card but in his comatose disposition, he didn’t do anything to act on it. Now, he tries it on another machine but same result. Instead of getting alarmed, just with 500 rupees in his pocket, he feels extremely relieved. Isn’t it what he wanted? To roam around like a true renunciate, with no possessions, chanting holy names of Krishna and dependent on his will and mercy? This is his grace. Accept it!
In his frenzy, his urge to reach Vrindavana, he leaves the railway station after buying a ticket, because the train is not going to depart before 8 O’clock in the evening. He can’t wait so long; what if his family members do come searching? He rushes to the bus stand, only to find that there also one bus will be available, very late in the day and he might very well miss it as his mental faculties are not working at the optimum. He again goes back to the railway station and decides to wait for the train.
In the waiting room, many people are present. He has lost all the fear and he is chanting names of Krishna with the freedom of the world. Now he will not go back to home no matter who says what. Soon evening approaches.
After having waited for enough long on the platform number four, he decides to sit besides a monk. After all, he was soon going to become one, why not take some guidance! The monk is a thin old bearded man with yellow kurta and a red towel. He is taking his dinner. Sitting besides the monk, he initiates the conversation and tells him about his intense devotion and the urge to go to Vrindavan. The monk tells him a few things which make him feel easier about his escape.
Indian trains have a reputation of never arriving on time, this one also didn’t disappoint others and honored the custom by arriving at about 11 O’clock. He gets into it with a great mob which was going for a movement for the rights of farmers. In a general cabin, he barely has a space to fit his legs, but chanting incessantly the names of Krishna, he feels the bliss of heaven and freedom of a cosmos. A bit of chit-chatter and his destination arrives. He is looking towards a long street, monkeys, dawn and unfamiliar faces. He is happy. He has surrendered. He is home!