Handle With Care!

This post is based on The Daily Post’s prompt Handle With Care

How are you at receiving criticism? Do you prefer that others treat you with kid gloves, or go for brutal honesty?

What are kid gloves?

I don’t have any idea!

Sensitive and Vulnerable

I really don’t know how I am at receiving criticism. I feel I am sensitive and vulnerable and I have always been so. Still, I am learning day-by-day. I feel, only my friends, family and previous colleagues can tell how I am at handling it. If I say I am good, that might be biased(nay, bound to be biased.)

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If I say I can’t take criticism at all, that might also be wrong. I feel I have improved a lot at receiving criticism. Most of the improvements in my personality and life have been because of my harshest critics. They have made me stronger. They have forced me to look inside me. Still, sometimes criticism might be too harsh to take and might crush the sensitive souls.

Harsh Criticism is Not Good

I have also been guilty of being frank and outspoken. Being frank and outspoken and preferring truth over tact and diplomacy has been my weakness. I am trying to improve upon it. As I started interacting with fellow friends and bloggers I came to learn more and more about my shortcomings. I genuinely want to help others by listening to them and by giving feedback. I feel it helps them and heals them. But if I don’t exercise moderation in this domain I run the risk of hurting people. This kills the purpose of entire exercise!

Beachy

My harshest critics have undoubtedly helped me the most. I have over and over asked my friends and relatives for their sincere opinion about me, my personality. This has helped me improve as a person over years. Still, I will be honest about certain things. Some convictions came as life touched me deep and they have not changed even when some people criticized me about them. And they have indeed been life-altering in a most positive way. It’s where intuition takes over intellect.

Can I Take Criticism?

I prefer truth over appreciation for myself. I try to be polite and encouraging with others but I am not always very successful at it. For example–during past two months some of my fellow classmates might have seen me giving feedback on typo, grammar, style and messages on your posts in your comments section. I should have been patient and given feedback through email since I cared a lot. I feel sorry about it. Not everyone is disposed same, not everyone is blogging for the same reasons.

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I feel, all the encouragement and support should be given to an artist and harsh criticism should not be given unless someone is very open to receiving it. But it really becomes a bit difficult to find out at times. If you want to stay in the safe zone, try to stay positive and give a hint only if someone asks sincerely, otherwise leave it and let it go. It really doesn’t matter much in the end. You need not be the teacher. People learn all the time, one way or the other.

Feedback is Important

Beach2

I have felt that people have mostly treated me kindly. There has been some bullying in school, college and at work, but that was very minor. I sincerely believe that we all need feedback from environment to sustain and survive. A system which closes itself for feedback dies pretty soon. I am all for harshest criticism. Any of you reading out there–please bring it on. It doesn’t mean I will necessarily adapt, but I will most certainly listen what you have to say. Grammar, style, message, ideas, personality and anything else you really care for– I welcome you for any and all criticism about writing and ideas, though you don’t know much about my life story, so it might not be feasible to discuss about it. Thanks for reading, support, feedback and kindness.

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62 thoughts on “Handle With Care!

  1. Great article, Anand! Like you, I think I’m getting better at taking criticism… But I still have a hard time accepting the opinions of people who (I think) don’t know what they’re talking about! I used to work for a guy who would have me write up his business documents for him. I’d give him my first draft, and he’d suggest some changes. I’d make them, then he’d reread, and give me a list of further edits… Usually undoing the changes he’d asked me to make to the original! We’d go through this process 5-6 times for EVERY document – it used to drive me nuts! But when I worked as a waitress – and I was a terrible waitress – I was grateful for every bit of criticism, harsh or otherwise, that my colleagues would give me! Criticism from someone you respect can be hard to hear, but it often spurs you on to greater efforts – as you say, a system that closes itself to feedback dies 😃 Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. preferring truth over diplomacy… That has always seemed the most honest way to live my life; however I have painfully discovered others would prefer a life of fantasy & facade. I am learning to appreciate those who choose an authentic lived out life to be precious jewels to me! Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. LOVE this post ❤ As if you are speaking my mind and heart.
    You know my take on criticism, but on the same time I don't mind receiving constructive criticism I think it depends on the person and his/her way for giving criticism.
    Being frank and outspoken and preferring truth over tact and diplomacy has been my weakness<<< believe me I can relate =)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Anand I have always appreciated you catching my typos! My take on criticism is that tact is key. Begin with praise for the good things, move on to tactfully explain where improvement could be made. Especially in writing, the reader is the ultimate critic: are they going to hate my book so much they put it down? How much better if I, the writer had some honest feedback from a friend who had my best interest at heart? Then my audience ends up with a product they will enjoy! Everybody wins!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Indeed. Thanks for the kind words Meg 🙂

      Though, even when most people ( except me ) dream of becoming published authors–some of them are fresh bloggers and I must understand who expects what. I did see you receiving typos and grammar well. In fact you are doing feature articles for us and helping us improve our grammar. You are keen to learn and I appreciate that. Though as I start giving feedback on typos and grammar etc. I quickly forget where not to give it–as I visit hundreds of blogs, I should exercise tact. When I found that most people don’t need feedback on typos/grammar and also most of them were not bothered giving it to others; I thought I should also stop running unnecessarily when instead of helping it makes people uncomfortable.

      Till date, only couple of people have corrected my typos/grammar here on WP and only twice. I have plenty of errors but not everyone is as free/willing to engage as I am. I should take that into the account and behave accordingly.

      Thanks for your wonderful input Meg.

      Best Wishes,
      Anand 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Great post! I also agree with keeping things positive. The word criticize or criticism itself implies negativity which is why it is so important when we provide feedback to others that we choose our words and our tone carefully. Some may be able to take “brutal honesty”, but some don’t. We can never be to sure how someone will take what we say and we do not want to be the reason for stifling someone’s growth if the feedback we provided crushed them.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Good evening Anand,
    This is a very well thought out post. I personally believe that one should be able to take constructive criticism if they want to progress in life be it their career, personal goals or just life.
    About you, I think you are good at receiving criticism, you handle it pretty well.
    I have always welcomed your criticism as well as all feedback because I feel if I don’t then that would impede my own progress!
    A brilliant post, thank you for sharing! 🙂
    -Rashmi

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good Afternoon Rashmi 🙂

      Thanks for your kind words 🙂

      Yes, I agree, we can’t improve and can’t make any progress in any area of our lives if we stop listening to constructive feedback. It just breaks the feedback loop apart.

      Yes, you are a very positive person who can take any feedback in your stride. I do remember giving you some such feedback and you responded back so positively 🙂

      Thanks for your kind words. Your assurance makes me feel I can take some criticism. I look forward to become more stronger at taking criticism and constructive feedback positively.

      I really appreciate your wonderful feedback and encouragement.

      Have a wonderful weekend.

      Love and light ❤

      Anand 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I agree with others! Very good post, well thought out and you covered all the bases!
    I try to always give positive feedback-if there is something negative, I usually don’t say. But only twice I gave negative feedback. One was pretty incidental, but I regret it only thinking I was helping. The other asked for feedback so I did give it. She’s a new young writer. She used some offensive to most older adult, so I did mention I liked her writing, except for that. And because she seemed to use curse words in most posts (I scanned a few more) I told her I couldn’t follow her. She nicely replied she was told to write in her voice and that’s how she talks. I should have left it at that but I replied back she may want to rethink her voice if she wants to get ahead in this world. But then I hear foul language used by rich and famous people. 😞

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks for your kind words Debbie 🙂

      Yes, it’s always better to stay on a positive side. Change is very difficult and unless we face some kind of challenge we don’t change. The problem is–good people have to stay compassionate and yet try to help others where needed. If we take offense at not being accepted as a counselor it defeats the purpose of exercise. 🙂

      Even when your communication with her stopped, I feel you did the right thing. Though she was also doing a good thing being authentic. Yes rich and famous too use foul language and that is how it gets transfused into young minds too.

      I hope that writer gets a better feeling and becomes happier and uses more positive language. 🙂

      Have a wonderful weekend, Debbie 🙂

      Love and light ❤

      Anand 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Scott

    I’ve been in a host of critique groups over the past 40 years. The hard fast rule has Lways been to not criticize what was written, but how it was written.

    I’ve survived some harsh opinions. Once I received no comment, only a bandage.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahaha 🙂

      Thanks for your visit and wonderful input Scott.
      You know how to give feedback. I don’t know about writers critique group. I don’t involve with people only as a writing-feedback-friend. I also look forward to learn and share about ideas. Some things like religious or ethnic issues might be moot points but many other things might be discussed in a friendly way. This enhances quality of life of everyone involved provided moderation is also exercised.

      Have a wonderful weekend, Scott 🙂

      Anand

      Liked by 1 person

  9. This is a great topic Anand 🙂 Criticism is something which others can throw at us but we are protected by a layer called self-confidence. The thicker this layer around us, others harsh words/actions can’t have much impact on us. We can’t control on the amount of criticism people throw at us but we can make sure the layer is thick enough for us to live in peace 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed Darshith 🙂

      Positive values like self-confidence come from being deeply grounded into the source of life. When we are connected to our roots we have high self-esteem, conviction, competence and motivation. Then, we can see what are our weaknesses. We need not ward-off all the criticism as ‘negative’ there is always some truth in some of the criticism which might help us become better as artists and human beings 🙂

      Have a great weekend,

      Anand 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Good Morning, Anand! I really liked this post! The pictures are great, especially the little guy in the leaves!! He’s my favorite! 😀 So cute! I believe constructive criticism is a good thing! It is important to know who you are speaking with when giving feedback though. As you stated, people blog for different reasons, they may not always be grammatically correct, or even care right now because they have only been blogging for a month or so. Writing is a process. We are all here to learn, most likely. But if someone does not solicit advice from someone and they just give it…that may not be received in the best manner. Etiquette – it goes a long way. Some ladies are classy and others… I think you get the gist! 😀

    Great post, Anand!! 🙂

    -Pink 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good Morning Pink 🙂

      Indeed, I love squirrels. They are such cute creatures. 🙂

      “I believe constructive criticism is a good thing! It is important to know who you are speaking with when giving feedback though. As you stated, people blog for different reasons, they may not always be grammatically correct, or even care right now because they have only been blogging for a month or so. ”

      Indeed. That’s what I have been trying to incorporate 🙂

      “But if someone does not solicit advice from someone and they just give it…that may not be received in the best manner. Etiquette – it goes a long way. Some ladies are classy and others… I think you get the gist! :D”

      Hahahah 😀

      Yes, I get the gist! Etiquette is a must. I am learning it slowly 🙂

      So, you are classy or picky? LOL

      Have a sweet Saturday,

      Anand 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Hahaha, very kind of you. No, I am learning everyday. I had a very important lesson today. As something which I said to help someone actually hurt them. This is a lesson for me. I look forward to be more careful with my feedback.

          Thanks, I am having a nice time 🙂

          Love and light ❤

          Anand 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. It is good to learn! Everyone should learn something new everyday! It is fun! 🙂 Sorry to hear your help hurt someone 😦 I don’t know how that could have been. As long as the feedback is true and comes from a good place, I don’t see how it could be bad. I am glad you are having a nice time! I hope you always do and will in the future! 🙂 You deserve it and much more! So sweet to me! 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            1. You are very sweet and kind Pink 🙂
              Yes, learning is important. That was mostly miscommunication, but sometimes I also need to exercise caution because not everyone is feeling the same and I should take this into account before making any remarks. That’s the sign of a good friend.

              Thank you. Have a wonderful Sunday and a great week ahead.

              Love and light ❤

              Anand 🙂

              Liked by 1 person

              1. You are welcome, Anand! Miscommunication does happen. But take it easy of yourself …English is your second language (I’m pretty sure). I am sure you cleared it up when it happened. It is important to always have the other person’s best interest in mind; I think you do and you mean well! It is important to know your audience. 🙂 I hope you enjoyed your weekend!

                Liked by 1 person

                1. See you are wise mam 🙂

                  Thanks for giving so many good tips in a nutshell 😛
                  Yes I had a good weekend. I hope you are enjoying it as well.

                  Have a great week ahead Pink 🙂
                  Love and light ❤

                  Anand

                  Liked by 1 person

  11. I can relate with it. In fact, i would like to write a post about in a while. I had wanted to talk about this issue for quite sometime now. I think it is finally the right moment to do it. Loved your post and yes, criticism helps us a lot. It is like a blessing 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are so kind Hasmeet 🙂
      I am glad this post inspired you to also do your take on this wonderful prompt. I also wanted to write about it for long. An event today and then this prompt in evening made me even more prepared to do a brief post. I kept writing what came to my mind.

      Thanks for your kind words.
      Stay blessed 🙂

      Anand

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Handle With Care! | Blogging 101: Alumni

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